So this is how stress tastes like…

Ok sorry i havent been writhing lately, but my life has once again attacked me so i havent had time to do so.
But finally i can have my quiet moment when i just listen to music, sit on skype and talk to a person, and being generally bored hehe

Well this post will just be about random stuff cause i need to get rid of this urge to write something thats completely out of content:D
So what have i been up to?
Well i have been working and focusing on inproving my anger problems i seem to have, also tried to be less at the computer.
But the question is if i can go on as i do right now if the anger still comes up from trime to time.

A few weeks ago i heard that if your cranky and angry by the age of 30 you will probably stay angry and cranky for the rest of your life:o
Lets hope its not true cause that would really suck badly.
I am a positive person and i hope that i can show that to people around me, atleast a few:p

Well i am going to the gym again even tho it have been less the last weeks.
Problematic i am gonna try start to work more on the book from now on also,
so im sorry that i will be abit less writhing here.
Hopefully i can add in more book previews before i actully finish this.

I am gonna use a  laptop that i have no use for anymore,
Well sorry that i havent written in a while. But i will try do it more frequently now.

So i hope that everyone will enjoy the following like me 🙂



Sorry i havent written alot lately, my life have attacked me and im quite chocked that it could do it to me.
Well these past 2 weeks i have been busy both with work, on my spare time, and overall havent had much time at all to do.
Anything i want.
But what have i been doing.

I have worked quite hard both irl and online to be able to do different stuff.
Also im trying to deside what i wanna study to become, not the easiest thing to decide atm.
Well i also have been to the movies and seen the new G.I Joe movie wich was nice,
not the best movie i seen or the worst but it was worth seeing it.
Its just that nowadays i see that im not that easy to impress when it comes to movies.
I can watch one and just fall in love with it at first but then i find errors in the movie so easy, it annoys me.
Why do i do this to myself?
Well finding errors in movies and other people thats easy when you can find your own erros…

Well i have been trying to start writhing again and its going meh, hopefully i can start properly this weekend.
I will do my best to do so.
I have also been quite busy with updating my forum that i run for my EMS guild.
Together with 2 others we have redesigned the whole forum once again, and the graphics head of our forum did some awesome work.
The problem in general is that i try balance 5 things at once.

  1. Work
  2. Friends
  3. Gym
  4. Online Gaming
  5. Writhing

Its not that easy and soon i probably will come to a part where i will crash into a wall and fall burning down a slope or something.
Well i am not gonna be pessimistic and just keep talking about problems and etc.
Well what else have i been doing,
i have been trying to get in contact with a person who is gonna help me pick studies.
Was supposed to meet with her this tuesday but i couldnt cause i lacked 1 paper, so next tuesday im going to have a meeting with her.
I also been to the doctor to check if i have any allergies (except for those im pretty sure i have)
Well i will have answer in 1 week.

I have also been thinking over my life in general.
Where am i going?
What have i done these last years?
What will be a good choice of path to the future?
Where do i see myself in 10 years?

All those questions and still i am unsure of the answer to them.
Oh well the answer comes with time and time seem to be the only thing that is given, it excists aswell as it doesnt excist.
Time itself is like a paradox:

“It might be there but it also might be somewhere else”

Well the quote:
“Only time will tell whats awaits”
thats quite a quote i grown fond off, but we cant give up just cause we feel time is running, we need to grasp it and make it worth for everyone around you inclueding yourself.

Have a awesome Friday night 🙂

Memory Lane

When i look back on the last year, i see myself laughing,crying,being desperate,being in love and even thinking of tomorrow and yesterday.

It came and went as gentle as a breeze.
I am following my memories down the memory lane, realising that they are and always will be pictures hanging the the hall of memory lane.

I see no fiture in the current state of the world,
why people might ask?
well the answer is infront of us all.
As the need for “better” educated people grow.
The less educated people are being demolished, and frozen out of society.
More people are getting poor, dieing, and falling into depression and drug abuse.
How come we see this world as a good thing?
It seems like the world itself isnt seeing a happy ending to the human race.
I might sound really negative when writhing this, but the truth be told i always try find the positive things with everything and everyone.
But the world always seem to throw something in the way of this positive thinking.
Why is it that we fight so hard to go on when all we can do is fight back to survive another day.

For me i focus on the light points in my life to not go completely insane.
Even tho there are days i wonder if it wouldnt be better to go insane and see how it will go.
Everywhere around us are people that try so hard to be perfect, “normal” even more.
But why try so hard reaching something that is unattainable?

For me perfection isnt reality nor fiction.
Perfection is everyone and everything in its own wicked and weird way.

These thoughts probably comes to everyone some time.
But for now i am not worried anymore, these are and will always be thoughts.
They cant hurt me more then give me a headache.

Stressy week

Yea so i havent blogged for 1 week cause i have been busy.
Have had stuff to do each day and havent been able to come home until late every night all days this week except yesterday.
Well this week have been different stuff happening:

  1. Work.
  2. Gym.
  3. Elmia.
  4. Preperations for Elmia.

So I have been working hard, it was much fun but also alot since i really lost my temper a few times.
Hate when that happends but what can i do, except try calming myself down(this is  not always the easiest thing to do)
I have been putting 110% on the gym, and yes it will hopefully pay off eventually.
Its a good way to make stress less is to give your all at the gym 🙂

Well Thursdays gym session was the worst in a long time. No energy what so ever, but i managed to get through it.
Well all i can say i did my best and i have no regrets.
So you cant say i am not putting effort in 🙂

Well this weeks highlight was Friday (Elmia) for sure.
Except waking up 5am to go by car somewhere isnt that amazing, but when your finally at your destination it is so worth it.
Well ima add some pictures with some cars i saw there wich is worth showing!
But the pictures comes further down, well it was abit dissapointing, i felt like it was alot less cars this year.
I wasnt the only one who felt like that.
Hopefully next years Elmia will have more cars and some WOW effect.
This years Elmia didnt pack the punch as i hoped it should.
I would love to say that there was enough cars BUT then i would lie.
When you looked around you could see large open spaces where they could have placed atleast 2-3 cars extra,
Last year it was packed in a good way and there was alot to look and take photos off.

Well even tho it was a little dissapointing i am still happy i went there.
Its fun to do something else then just stay home doing nothing.

Well on to what more i have done this week, since i havent been availible on Twitter either.
I have tried fixing a streaming program for the last 4 days with no success. But yesterday a friend helped me setup an avarage program that now atleast shows my char as i want it to.
I just hope that it will work out fine.
I am also availible on now:

My life is pretty stressy now since i gotta fix a few things for work, trying to update this blog aswell.
Ofcourse there are more stuff around to be done.
The good thing next week im off work, this should be a good time to try regain some energy i seem to have lost.
Im so terribly tired today have been since yesterday, Hopefully i will be fine by tomorrow morning.
If im catching a cold i will not be happy.
But i guess it can be allergies on the way also.
It seems like the spring is on the way and finally gonna make all the snow melt and all the thick winter clothes you throw into the wardrobe again 😀

Well The rest of the day i will stream some MapleStory Europe Quests.
When i will stream, well that will say on my Twitter.
Hope you all will have a nice Sunday and also

Happy Easter everyone=)

Pictures From Elmia:

Friday,Saturday and Sunday once again

Yea so i will just tell what have happend these three days.
Sorry i havent posted i have been more or less busy and not been at the comp at all^^

Well it started nicely, went to the gym did a half effort to train.
Didnt go so well but i did something so happy about that:)
Then i went to a bigger city where i bought myself a new camera.
The reason i bought this camera is for Elmia that is on friday 😀
Also bought a 8GB memory card for it, so i now can take about 1338 pictures.
This should be enough, but we will see^^
I also bought 2 games.
Naruto ultimate ninja storm 3 and the new Tomb Raider game when laura just starting.
I also where and watched Hanzel and Gretel witch hunters at the cinema.
This movie oh god this movie is awesome, and everyone should go watch it or buy it when it comes out on DVD and blueray!
I believe everyone have read or heard the childstory about Hanzel and Gretel the kids who got lured out into the forrest by their parents,
and left there and they find a gingerbread house and a witch.
Well this movie starts simular but evolves into a better story.
I just recommend to go watch it!
I am not gonna give out any spoilers of the movie cause i believe alot of people are gonna go watch it 🙂
That was pretty much my friday in a nutshell^^

Well this day i didnt do much i played naruto and Tomb Raider all day pretty much i also watched some animé and read a book.
But that wasnt much, i just got stuck into the games it has been a while since a game actully grabbed me to keep playing.
So i just keept playing and i had fun:)
I bet everyone know what i mean when a game grabbes you and you cant stop.
Well that was pretty much my Saturday >_<

Well today i have done pretty much the same as saturday, except i cleared the main story on the Naruto game hehe.
I just find the game amazing and just love its outlay and story, since i follow the animé that it builds on:
Naruto Shippuden
It follows the anime through the 4th great ninja war (just a warning if you also are watching the animé well this game releases some hints on what is gonna happend)
Well thats about what i have been doing today.
I know boring life i live, but i am and probably will allways be a gamer.

Well i hope everyone have had a awesome weekend like i have.
I also wish everyone a nice ending for this weekend and a good evening aswell!

Thursday share the fun and pain in one day

Well today brought so much happiness all around the day.
Sure it had some ups and downs today aswell, but nothing i cant handle.
Work went fine and was fun today, seeing all the laughter and joy really lifted my day.(Even tho i was dead tired!)

Well i got home and sat infront of the tv cause i was waiting for going to the train and i fell asleep like 4 times in 15 min.
Wow so at 14:18 i begave myself to the train, when i got down i really thought i had missed the train, but then i saw some guys also waiting for the train.
I thought to myself phew im not to late, and so the time went 14:23 (time for train to depart) BUT it didnt show up.
It comes to the station almost 10 minutes late.
After standing out in the cold wind for like 15 min waiting for a delayed train that isnt even announced that it was gonna be late, well lets say i wasnt thinking such friendly thoughts.

Well got to my friends place and went to the gym and had a blast i dont think i have laughed and had such a great time this week.
I cursed at the machines at the gym so much, but i didnt give up i pushed myself even harder just cause i thought “I need to get through this”
Well So much fun and laughter and frustration just ran off my body.
Thanks to my friend who got me to start the gym 2 years ago, i really cant thank him enough.

Well after the gym wich went decent not the best but sure was the most fun this week.
We went to get more food and then we went home.
After 30 minutes of laughter and abit of silence, we started talking about tomorrow since we are gonna go to the cinema to watch the movie:
(Yes i know i couldnt reveal earlier this week so i do it now!)
Hanzel and Greta Witch Hunters
Well this movie i have been waiting for it since last year so i hope it will be awesome:)

Well for the rest of this evening im not gonna do much just play some on my xbox and then sleep.
So have a great evening and hope this day have been great for everyone like mine was!

Amazing wednesday with hardships.

Well today was quite intressting!
Had to go up at 4:15 am just to get to work around 1 hour later (hehe)
Well got to work and really had fun getting there that early, just the moment when you enter and everything turns quiet, that moment it is somewhat so relaxing.
Cause you know in your head that in about 10 minutes there isnt gonna be a silent corner in the whole house.

For me that never have quiet around myself even if i close everything and just sits in a sound proofed room.
That wouldnt be silent for me either.
I hear this small noice every living minute of my life.
So i try kill that sound with other sounds (mainly music)

But it is indeed magical to for atleast 1 second be able to not hear a thing.
Just that second can last forever even tho its one second.

Other then that i had some fun time working. Seems like all that got to work was in a somewhat good mood.
But tho i am not a sunshine myself when im forced to get up at 4:15 am i atleast try make the best of the day.

Well the day went by and all i can say is that these days both reminds me that i do wanna work with what i do, but also remind me that why i am not already educated enough to do it.
Sadly i got home and i didnt really feel happy about leaving work, as i did when i left the gate.
Somehow i still carry a stone on my back and sadly that stone probably will never dissapear.

I do have a problem when i do realise i do wanna do this for the rest of my life, but in the same time doubt myself and also question myself.
Right now i do feel heavy with grief over this question since it keeps eating me over and over.
I watch movies and i try picture some of those situation in real life situations and do see that some work others will never in a million years work.
But thats how i see it ofcourse.

At times i do question what am i doing with myself and my life.
At other times i just pass the time as i see fitting.
But most of the times the question comes up and ask myself:
-“What should be a better way of living my life”
Sadly i cant answer since there is no answer to a life question,
they say that after you die all your questions gets answered but i dont think so.
If they did i dont think many of the people that still walks the earth would be here.
They have all died one way or another and not have they answered their questions,
if the answer to every question is out there why havent anyone already found the answer instead of
“passing” the question on to the next in line of the humanity.
For me i cant find the answer myself and i will neither pass on my questions that i keep hidden to the next generation,
i solomly hope that noone can answer all our questions cause if someone answers our questions what makes you think that is the answer
that is correct for just you?

Well with this long post i end this wednesday.
Well i do wish you all a great evening and night as this wednesday comes to an end and the thursday comes and takes it place.

As a short sidenote rememeber today is night and day equally long:)